Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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