"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
