party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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