I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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