So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
