i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
