This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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