Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize