Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
