It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
