They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
