At least make sure they are 18
Why
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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