im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
