i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
