So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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