don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
