A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize