I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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