she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
