I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
