A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
