Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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