i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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