i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you guys were way drunker than both of me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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