you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
