After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
