I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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