Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
