I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
