he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
