i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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