Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
