He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
