it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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