I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
