That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
