I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
