bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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