Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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