I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
