I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
