Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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