i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
