Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
