So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
