Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
