He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
