i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Randomize
