We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
