I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
