It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
