you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
