my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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