guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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