Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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