The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
honey bunches of taint.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Randomize
