wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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