i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
