I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize