Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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